I was scared out of my mind all through last night. I walked till about the middle of the night, maybe midnight, I am not sure. Hell, I don’t even care! I walked until I hit the edge of Bowie, I held-up there for an hour watching for any kind of danger. What a waste of freaking time! There wasn’t anything there, there wasn’t anyone there, there wasn’t even a stray cat there! So what happened to Bowie??? Who freaking cares…I just walked on through that stupid little town daring someone to try and jump me.
I guess I should be grateful for one thing, rather two things…both of ’em rabbits. I managed to catch a couple of rabbits yesterday in my snares…my day off. Luckily I didn’t catch them both at the same time. I caught one overnight, the other late in the afternoon. Beans likes rabbit.
I skinned the first one very carefully and set out the pelt to dry. I buried the bones and guts about 100 yards from camp to try and keep the coyotes away. I built a fire, yup…a fire, and cooked the rabbit really well. I actually cooked it past the point of it tasting good. But, I wanted to make sure it was cooked enough to kill any parasites, bugs, worms, etc. I ate half of it as fast I could and threw up. I ate the last half a lot slower, I didn’t throw up. As I was finished the second half I noticed that Beans was nowhere to be found. She came trotting back in later looking very full. She found the bones and guts…ate every single bit of it. No more than an hour later the pelt was gone as well. She threw up later. No big deal, she ate that pile as well.
I found a stock tank about a mile away, made several trips, drank plenty of water. Late that afternoon I found the second rabbit. Repeat of earlier in the day but I didn’t eat so fast on the first half. I bet I took 2 hours to eat the whole thing. I didn’t throw up.
It was weird not walking Monday night. I didn’t sleep too well, but I did sleep. My sleep pattern is so messed up, almost as bad as this upside down world. Did God do this to us? Are we really that bad that He felt the need to beat us up so badly? I mean, what could we have done that brought this kind of wrath down on us? Or, is it just me and I am insane. Am I sitting in some lunatic hospital with drool dribbling down my chin and this is all in my head? Or worse yet, did I die and is this hell, my personal hell? Do I even care anymore?
I kept walking and I made it about half way to San Simon. I will get through there tonight if I am lucky. Yeah, everything seems to be about luck! Bowie was completely empty when I went through there and that mean something went terribly wrong. Or someone went terribly wrong. Either way, it doesn’t bode well for me. Yeah, it is all about me right now! Who else is there besides ME????? I’ve got nobody! Nobody I know or loves knows I am alive or if I am dead. Hell, I don’t know who is left that I loved and cared about! What freaking difference does any of this make now?
Where is God????? Or is He just leaving it up to luck now for us mere freaking mortals? His children!!!! Yeah, right. We’re on our own…God is dead…if there ever was a God. I no longer care if I live of if I die. All I care about is dying quick and getting it over with…it’s going to happen anyways.
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