• I call him burr boy for a reason. Why were you so nice to him? He wasn’t nice to you and was looking for a problem. You shouldve put him in his place.

Wow! I guess I should start by thanking you for being a good teammate, you rallied nicely and I appreciate it.

As far as my response to him, well, that was a weird one. Let’s replay his comment to me for everyone to be familiar with…

“Wow, you really have a burr under your saddle. Find something worthwhile to talk about. This is not helpful to anyone.”

My first reaction was to flame him like you suggested. But, I am finally learning to slow down a little bit and try to see a situation from different angles. In the final analysis:

1. He has some kind of personal connection to, or investment in, the website he referred to.
2. He by-passed the original writer’s questions/concerns and went straight to his view on a small part of my comment while completely ignoring the woman’s comments and questions.
3. He didn’t put either his name or an email address in his comment form when he sent it to me. To me that implies he wasn’t really very committed to, maybe not proud of, his comment…or he didn’t want to be personally challenged on it or responsible for it for some other reason.
4. He was upset with me and lashed out; possibly trying to hurt my feelings or demean me in front of my website visitors and diminish the value of what I write in the eyes of others.
5. I say “he” because he sounded like a male in his approach with direct wording; and probably raised in, or living in, the western US (saddle reference).

So I had to weigh my response. I knew full well that in his state of mind there was no chance of me turning his opinion around and making him a “fan” of mine. That simply wasn’t a realistic goal anyways. I tried to appeal to his logical side if he would allow my words through his bias and perceived offense. I doubt that worked but I wanted to try.

What really struck me was his total disregard for, or his unintentional ignoring of, the writer’s comments and concerns. I found that interesting, albeit a bit sad. He focused on his perceived offense only…at least in his comment to me.

Yeah, I could have been aggressive and “put him in his place”…in the bigger picture I don’t think it would have accomplished anything positive in the long run. We have enough division, personal aggression, and conflict between people right now…I didn’t want to add to it, he was already upset.

And again, thank you for having my back…that is important in today’s world. Just like ‘burr boy’ had the back of, came to the defense of, the website in question. Today…it is all about perspective, opinion, and trying to see the other guy’s point of view…then being reasonable and understanding.

But I will tell you this…when the time comes and someone does launch a serious attack at me…I will respond accordingly…and I will be grateful for folks like you that will have my back 😉

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