No idea what is going wrong with my feet exactly but I am in pretty deep trouble. My feet look like raw hamburger…and that is being nice about it. They also stink and the skin is starting to just peel off like I spent a week in the swimming pool. I’ve used the last of the Mole Skin and there is no more Second Skin either. Next I have to use Duct Tape and that is not going to be pretty. I keep washing my feet every day and wearing dry socks after I’ve washed them and let them dry for a day. But my feet just get worse.
And something else is wrong, maybe because of all of that, maybe something…but I have the toenail on my large toe on my right foot that is all ugly with a blood clot under the nail. The nail is also curling in on itself on both edges along the sides. After about 3 hours of walking it is really sore. Even Ashley mentioned it last night, I just blew it off because I didn’t want her to worry. That kid is too smart for her own good…or, rather too smart for my own good.
On top of everything else I am feeling spooked about something…no idea what, just something is bothering me. Last night we got to Wilna, NM which is the location of the rest area I was worried about. I needn’t have worried, it was deserted. Although it wasn’t deserted at one time. There were rotted bodies everywhere, I am guessing maybe 25 or 30 dead bodies…men, women, and children. It looked as if everyone had been shot. There were only a couple of cars and one semi truck there, they had all been looted. What I found interesting…no shell casings. Not a single shell casing from anyone having fired the shots.
Stink! Man did it stink like only a dead body can. Ashley threw-up twice before we could move on far enough. It was about a four mile walk for us before we hit the rest area from where we started earlier that night. We walked another eight miles before we stopped for the night. We could have walked on but we just needed a break.
On another note…Ashley just keeps soldiering on as if nothing is wrong with her parents dying. She never talks about her parents anymore and just chatters away. Fortunately, when I give her the “silence” sign she immediately shuts up. We started doing these little immediate action drills yesterday where I say a trigger word or give her a sign and she immediately reacts. She does whatever I ask her to do, I think she knows it is for her own good and safety. Not a bad kid.
“Safety”…what is that anymore? It is so strange, it as if we are living in this really small bubble of life. I mean there is the whole world going on around us. The country still has people living everywhere, doing whatever they do for their daily lives. Farmers are still trying to plant and harvest crops, people are trying to keep their families intact, young people are still thinking about who they love and will have children with, others are worrying about how warm or cold it will be tonight when they go to bed. But, here I am with a 6-year old for companionship, we walk in darkness every night, talk to no one, have no contact with the outside world, and we basically have no idea what is going on around us beyond a mile or two. How strange is that!?
On the other hand…I seem to be OK with that. Weird, so weird. Then I think to myself…”What am I going to do with this kid?” I have no clue. And…Deming is just a night’s walk in front of us. This whole thing may go bad, very bad and very soon.
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